Beware! Lion Porn Ahead!

So my guide for the safari, Lazarus (a very, very cool guy by the way), told us we were a lucky group of people.  Why? Because within the first 3 days of our trip we were able to see a cheetah eating it's kill, a lioness with a full belly lying next to her kill, and a leopard doing what she does best - chilling out in a tree.

This leopard was spotted by one of the members of our group and provided a lot of entertainment for 2 days. Suddenly sitting very still for an hour and ooohing and aaaahing every time she so much as blinked really was the highlight of those game drives.  I have 400,000 pictures of her.  

I'm just going to say that I feel really sorry for the cheetah.  Whereas the lion just sits fearless and content for days next to her pile of rotting meat without a care in the world, this poor guy couldn't take a bite without looking in all directions.  Apparently, cheetahs go through all the work of catching and killing a meal, and then some interloper, like a hyena or a lion will come by and take it from him.  He was always on lookout.  Take a bite, look left, look right, look behind, take a bite, look left, look right, sit up, move to the other side, look left, look right, take a bite.  He will never finish this meal. I have a picture and a video of every bite and look he took.  

Lions I have decided are lazy.  What you see in those documentaries are nothing but good PR.  Apparently, she killed this Kudu days ago and has been lazily munching on it when she feels like it.  Unlike the cheetah, she is not afraid of anything coming along.  I guess being at the top of the food chain has its perks because not only is she lazy and sleepy, but there were two male lions at the next camp in Khuwai who are lazy and sleepy.  What were they doing when we got there at 2:00?  Sleeping.  We were no more than 15 feet from them and all we got was a head raise from the younger of the two.  Once he realized we were just a jeep with 7 heads he went back to sleep.

Do you know what makes male lions have some energy?  The prospect of a lady.  The next day we saw a mating pair and let me tell you, even that is a lazy affair.  Again, those documentaries make it very exciting.  Let me tell you what it's really like.  Male and female hanging out about 40 feet apart.  Someone is sleeping (shocker).  She finally decides its time to do the business, gets up and walks past him.  He gets up and then follows her around because now she has to play hard to get (you're not fooling anyone, honey).  Of course because the big jeep with 7 heads is watching, they decide they want privacy.  Off behind a tree they go and then there is a growl, a bite on the neck and in LITERALLY 10 seconds it is over.  He goes back to sleep for 1/2 and hour until is all starts again.  That's it.