A Real Safari

Since the last "living quarters" pictures I posted were from The River Club, I figured I would describe what has been happening since then.  The River Club is a lodge we stayed at the first night.  For me it really was the epitome in luxury.  But that is  not typical of the accommodations I have been staying in.   It really is a camping trip, that was just a beautiful introduction.  By the time we got to camp the next day, I was in full explorer mode and was staying in a tent. 

 The schedule goes something like this: wake up at 6:15 where they bring you water to wash your face, get dressed and go get breakfast. Hop in the jeep around 7:30 and bounce around for about 5 hours looking for animals. Yes, bounce around because the entire time we are 4 wheeling it on sand.  Kalahari sand.  No, I'm not in the Kalahari, but the sand has washed and blown down from there.  It is all sand, all the time.  Sometimes the sand is so deep your super duper safari jeep gets stuck.  So stuck another super duper safari jeep has to come and pull it out.  

We stop once during that time for tea and a bathroom break. Mind you by the time we finally stop I have had to pee for 3 hours. The bathroom consists of a termite mound that you pee behind.  

(A termite mound - AKA public restroom)

 Sometime between 12 and 2 we get back to camp for lunch. I have to say the food is fantastic and the staff make this little camping site with no running water or electricity a really classy joint.   I'm not even being sarcastic.  There are linen table cloths and napkins, and the chef cooks a phenomenal meal.  Then you have a couple of hours to eat, sleep, take showers or do laundry.  A shower consists of a bucket of water with a shower head and handle on the bottom.  Someone heats the water on a fire, brings water to your bucket, fills it up and then you turn the handle and water trickles out of the bucket.  This is the shower.  It's actually really genius.  

Another pass time during siesta is  watching the elephants walk right through the camp!!!  You get used to it after a while unless a young bull throws a tantrum because you have the nerve to want to go to your tent.  Oh yes, shaking of the head, stamping of the feet, mock charging.  All this over berries in a tree.  

High tea is at 4:30 and then it's back in the jeep to bounce around for another 3 hours. Of course I have to pee the whole time but you can't stop when there are animals all around.  We stop once usually somewhere near water to visit the termite mound and have wine and a snack while watching the sunset.   Botswana has the most amazing sunsets1  

Then it's back to camp for dinner.  Staff are always greeting us with warm wash cloths to wipe the sand and dust from our face and hands followed by another insanely amazing meal.  How the chefs cook the way they do with so little to work with I will never know.  But many props to Ollie, Khumo, and I believe it was Bamie or Kejie at the last camp.  You are amazing! After dinner we gather around the "Bush TV" (fire) and chat for a while.   Once we are ready, Lazarus escorts each of us to our tents because you never know if there is some animal hanging about who might get surprised by your presence.  During the night you are not allowed to leave the tent to go to the main bathroom.  That is why there is a toilet in the same area as your shower.  This way you and the hungry hippo don't have a run in with each other at 3am.  

Beware! Lion Porn Ahead!

So my guide for the safari, Lazarus (a very, very cool guy by the way), told us we were a lucky group of people.  Why? Because within the first 3 days of our trip we were able to see a cheetah eating it's kill, a lioness with a full belly lying next to her kill, and a leopard doing what she does best - chilling out in a tree.

This leopard was spotted by one of the members of our group and provided a lot of entertainment for 2 days. Suddenly sitting very still for an hour and ooohing and aaaahing every time she so much as blinked really was the highlight of those game drives.  I have 400,000 pictures of her.  

I'm just going to say that I feel really sorry for the cheetah.  Whereas the lion just sits fearless and content for days next to her pile of rotting meat without a care in the world, this poor guy couldn't take a bite without looking in all directions.  Apparently, cheetahs go through all the work of catching and killing a meal, and then some interloper, like a hyena or a lion will come by and take it from him.  He was always on lookout.  Take a bite, look left, look right, look behind, take a bite, look left, look right, sit up, move to the other side, look left, look right, take a bite.  He will never finish this meal. I have a picture and a video of every bite and look he took.  

Lions I have decided are lazy.  What you see in those documentaries are nothing but good PR.  Apparently, she killed this Kudu days ago and has been lazily munching on it when she feels like it.  Unlike the cheetah, she is not afraid of anything coming along.  I guess being at the top of the food chain has its perks because not only is she lazy and sleepy, but there were two male lions at the next camp in Khuwai who are lazy and sleepy.  What were they doing when we got there at 2:00?  Sleeping.  We were no more than 15 feet from them and all we got was a head raise from the younger of the two.  Once he realized we were just a jeep with 7 heads he went back to sleep.

Do you know what makes male lions have some energy?  The prospect of a lady.  The next day we saw a mating pair and let me tell you, even that is a lazy affair.  Again, those documentaries make it very exciting.  Let me tell you what it's really like.  Male and female hanging out about 40 feet apart.  Someone is sleeping (shocker).  She finally decides its time to do the business, gets up and walks past him.  He gets up and then follows her around because now she has to play hard to get (you're not fooling anyone, honey).  Of course because the big jeep with 7 heads is watching, they decide they want privacy.  Off behind a tree they go and then there is a growl, a bite on the neck and in LITERALLY 10 seconds it is over.  He goes back to sleep for 1/2 and hour until is all starts again.  That's it.

  

Wait! What?! You've Never Heard of Star Wars????

Call it naive, or arrogance, or just plain denial, but I really thought there would be some way for me to post blogs while "in the bush".  Which when I think about it, is quite silly since I don't even get good cell service in the building where I work!  Why would there be cell or internet service in Botswana?  Ok, I can deal with that, but the needle scratched right off the record in my mind when one of the guides told me he had never heard of Star Wars... What WHAT?  Star Wars! The game changer of all cinematic game changers and he hasn't heard of it??? But then the next sentence out of his mouth was "I will have to google it." He has an email account, is on Facebook, and can download movies, but no knowledge of Star Wars.  Needless to say, I have all his information and will be sending him a list of mandatory movies to watch.

But that brings me to the point of today's observation;  Botswana is a place like no other!  It really is a country in transition between old and new.  I met a young man in one of the camps who will be getting married in 2 years, to his fiancé that he has had since he was 5.... and she was 10 days old.  Arranged obviously, but it apparently doesn't happen as much anymore.  As Western civilization and ideas encroach on places like Botswana, old traditions are dying.  Some are embracing the change while others are fighting it.  One thing I can say is the people I have met are beautiful! They are kind, gentle souls, who have passion for what they do.  They are friendly, open, and always smiling and laughing.  And how they have incorporated eco-tourism from a national level on down seems to have benefited everyone; the people, the economy, the tribes, and most importantly the animals.  If hunting was still permitted in this country I would not have been able to see these animals on such a close and personal level.  So without further ado, here are this evenings pictures.

Don't worry, there will be more tomorrow!

 

I Made It!!!

So after a 15 hour flight, 4 movies, 1 1/2 mile walk around the plane, a 1 hour stint at a vodacom store at the airport to buy an international phone (even though I brought one with me- don't ask) and rent data plans for said new phone and iPad, I finally made it to the hotel and slept!  This morning I got up and headed to the airport for another flight to Zambia to officially start my safari when I was told the flight was overbooked and there were no more seats available!!!! WTF??? My trip is going to end before it even began???? I have to say one thing though, everyone, and I mean EVERYONE in South Africa is very nice and the customer service is superb!  However, even with them being top notch customer service people, there is only so much one can do for an overbooked flight. I mean, are they going to strap me to the roof? Put me it cargo?  It all rested on this one mysterious open business class seat. After a nail biting hour and a half of hanging out at the airport, wondering if all my new data plans were being hacked as I read my e-book, I was finally allowed to race through security, run to the gate and catch my flight. Was it worth it?  You betcha!!! Take a look at Victoria Falls and my room for this evening at The River Club!

The Clown Car of Luggage

Well here it is- The long awaited Trip!  For those of you who have been with me since I first thought of doing this trip, you know the journey began MONTHS ago.  I have spent so much time planning, that this is the first real moment I've had to think about the fact that I'm about to go to Africa!!!  Being that this is my first blog, and I'm not even sure what a blog is, I'm just making this up as I go. I will be posting pictures and telling stories that I find interesting or funny.  Case in point- I would like to give a shout out to my Mom who helped me pack my exhaustive list of clothes and supplies. I do believe she has defied a couple of laws of physics but you be the judge........ See you all on the other side of the planet